5 Reasons Why I Apologize To My Boys
Happy Friday! 🙂 I hope y’all have had a great week. I’ve been looking forward to sharing this post with you. I’m so passionate about this topic that I want to tell the world…and my blog is the closest to “the world” that I have. *wink*
I grew up in a wonderful home. My parents loved each other and they taught us how to love. We had a family policy of “not letting the sun go down on our wrath.” So, if we had an issue with a sibling or parent we had to deal with it before we went to bed. This made for some late nights. Ha! Some of us are stubborn and yes, I’m speaking for myself. Ahem. Little did I know how this habit of keeping a clean slate with others would translate into my adult life, my marriage and my mothering. I am very sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others and if I think that something is weird or “off” about someone, I go to them to just make sure that everything is okay between us.
My husband and I also have this policy in our marriage and we have from day one. Again…late nights….we are two stubborn people.
When I was a new mom, I was talking to a dear friend about this new, wonderful, difficult job of motherhood. No one ever tells you how HARD it is. Being a mother means that basically you question and doubt yourself all the time. Seriously. My friend said, with tears in her eyes, that she made it a regular habit to apologize to her children when she wronged them. That stuck with me because…who wants to apologize to their kids for screwing up?? Wow.
There are many ways that I fail my children. I get frustrated. I speak sharply…or loudly…or both. I am impatient. I don’t pass on the grace that I’ve been so richly given.
I sin against my children.
Ouch.
If you are honest, you know you do it too.
Pride tries to keep me from being humble, raw and real with my children.
I want to be gentle with my children. I want to show them Jesus in my words and my actions. I want to show them the mercy and grace that has been given to me.
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When I mess up, I make it a habit to ask my children for their forgiveness. Here’s why…
1. I need humility.
Do you think it’s fun to apologize for your unkind words, impatience, frustration etc? Um NO. Not fun at all, but so worth it. We all could do with a big fat dose of humility. I think it would make the world a much nicer place!
2. My children know that I’m not above admitting that I mess up.
Because I ask my children for forgiveness, they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’m not too good or too protective of my authority to say I was wrong. Apologizing isn’t a sign of weakness and it doesn’t undermine my authority. It shows them that I am real. I fail and succeed just like them. We are humans together.
3. By asking forgiveness from my children I teach them how to apologize and give forgiveness.
If I don’t teach my children by my actions, who will? Probably not the people I want them to learn from, right?? This is such a good exercise in learning how to apologize as well as how to freely forgive. Win-win.
4. I model for them the “clean slate” relationship that I {and they} need with God and others.
I mentioned at the beginning about having a clean slate with my family. I can pass along this character quality to my children by modeling it for them. Children pick up on everything. Even Cameron at 21 months copy cats everything we do! It doesn’t matter if I am apologizing or my children are asking for forgiveness…we always talk to God too.
5. Asking forgiveness from my boys is true love.
I believe with all my heart that cultivating a tender spirit in my children is the key to them “loving their neighbor as themselves.”
As I show them how to apologize, forgive and be humble in these early years, by grace they will pick up these qualities to carry with them through life.
I am so thankful for my sweet children who love me with unwavering dedication and forgive me when I royally mess up.
The question of the hour…Do you apologize to your children? If not, I hope you will consider it well.
xoxo
Myra
Love this post! I do apologize to my children….Somedays way more than I’d care to admit but they teach me how to freely give forgiveness as well because they just give it with no second thoughts.
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Oh, girl! This speaks so much to this mommy’s heart! I have to apologize to my kids…and often. They are always so sweet and quick to forgive their mommy. I am so guilty of flying off the handle, usually about things that don’t really even matter in the long run! In fact, I apologized to my six year old the other day for overreacting to something. He just nodded and said, “Yeah…Peace & Calming.” Ok, buddy! I get the picture! 😉
Oh, how dear you are to your boys! I too, have two young boys ages 9 and 7. When I have wronged them, I apologize. How else will they see humility and love. A simple admission of wrong doing and plea for forgiveness sets everything right. “Love covers a multitude of sins”, Amen!
Thank you, for your sweet blog!
Thank You so much for sharing this. I do the same thing with my almost 6 year old. I have always tried to be open and honest and show him we are wrong sometimes and apologize when when have done wrong. Wonderful post.
Wonderful post. Thank you for sharing. My children are teenagers now. I have always tried to point out my wrongs and aplogize. Not always easy, but so worth it. I know see my children doing that as well ( for the most part 😉 such a wonderful display of biblical truth as well.
Blessings, Myra!
~Sherri
I’m like you in that we don’t let the sun set on our anger. Also, both my husband and I apologize to our girls when we have done wrong. Even now that they are 20 & 16, we still have to apologize sometimes. Great post!!
Yes, I try to whenever I make a mistake like reprimanding the wrong kid or misunderstanding a situation and raising my voice. I agree that it’s such a good teachable thing to do with our kids! Loved this post, thanks for sharing!
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I try to. I’m not sure that I have always or will always do it right or right away but I know deep in my soul…..I TRY TO! Of course, as with everything else with me, this to probably needs work! Still trying….
Myra, thanks for sharing this. This was good. These are very good thoughts that we all need to consider at whatever level we may be. I appreciate the sensitivity that you are displaying in not only considering the content of what we teach but also the implications of what we do. This is huge with kids at any age. Keep writing. I am glad that I found your blog. 🙂
As the daughter of a woman who is incapable of acknowledging, let alone apologizing for, her mistakes, I can tell you that what you do for your sons is an incredible gift. Things would be vastly different if she had an ounce of integrity or courage to say “I was wrong. I’m sorry,” but if nothing else, it has shown me how absolutely vital those words are for a parent to say to their child when they’ve done wrong. I’m sure it’s much harder for her to live with the consequences of her pride and need to be right all the time than it is for me to tell my son I’m sorry and feel his arms around me as he says “It’s okay, Mommy. You can do better tomorrow.”
Great reminder. It does take a lot of humbling to admit our sins, especially to our children. Thank you for posting this!
I couldn’t agree more. I am always surprised how refreshed I feel when I take responsibility for my mistakes — especially in dealing with my children. I feel like it helps them to trust you with their mistakes/issues if they see you too are not infallible and brave enough to admit it. Thanks for the post!
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Absolutely beautiful and powerful. Modeling love, grace, and forgiveness is surely the best teacher! Thank you for the many times you’ve nurtured our friendship by seeking me out to make sure we’re OK! Love you for that :-). Xxxx
Love this post. I apologize to my two boys all the time as well. Our children are little people, it would be rude and disrespectful not to. Thanks for sharing this!!! 🙂
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I couldn’t agree more! I do apologize to my children (more than I’d care to admit) and have been blessed to see them apologize on their own when they’ve wronged someone. It’s humbling to apologize!
This was perfectly worded, and exactly how I feel for my boys. #3 big time! Thank you!
This is beautifully said and you are awesome for sharing it. I read a devotional recently that talked about disciplining with empathy and not anger and this reminds me somewhat of that. Bless you Myra. Love following you on Instagram
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