Finding My Motherhood Mojo
I’m not the only one who has struggled with motherhood mojo, right? It’s the kind of phenomenon that stems from the exhaustion of having a new baby and getting into a new routine. Cameron is almost a year old and I’m finally finding my motherhood mojo again. The first few months after having Cameron, I was, quite normally, in survival mode.
Survival mode isn’t particularly pretty. It seemed like I couldn’t stay on top of my housework {read laundry and dishes} and I felt like I was drowning in clutter and endless to-do lists. Ahem. Probably because I was.
The one thing that was consistent in my life was getting up to meet my dad at the gym at 5:30 am on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. There were days that I hated it especially when it was dark-thirty, but now I look forward to the early morning’s quiet stillness. Did you read that? Yes. I look forward to getting up at 5 am. Truly, I am deranged.
The bridge between living in survival mode and finding motherhood mojo was rest. I needed rest. A lot of it. For my Type-A personality, rest is hard. I used to feel like a bum if I was tired and wanted a nap. The voice inside my head screamed at me, “You can’t take a nap! Look at the dishes, look at the laundry, look at everything around you that has to get done!!!”
It was like I was living in a perpetual emergency.
Y’all. I refuse to live that way. Nine times out of ten, it {whatever “it” is} is not an emergency.
I gave myself permission to nap, to go to bed early, to just veg with my boys. I chilled a lot. I needed to chill – physically, emotionally, mentally.
Then almost without thinking about it, I began building my daily activities around a somewhat-normal routine. It’s one of those things that just happens. I tackled one thing at a time. Instead of looking at *everything* that I needed to do, I took the advice of my wonderful husband and just started with one small thing each day.
The rhythm of daily life. It’s a beautiful thing.
As I was cleaning my house yesterday, I realized that I really love this. I actually really, really love taking care of my home {including washing dishes and folding laundry}, nurturing my boys, playing with them, reading to them and just doing the routine.
This motherhood thing? It rocks.
The Suzy homemaker thing I do every day? It rocks too.
If you’re tired, stressed, overwhelmed and in survival mode, consider taking time to rest. You will be better for it. I promise. I’ve been there.
Please tell me that I’m not the only one who struggles with motherhood mojo!
xoxo
Myra
I struggle with motherhood mojo too. Not because I’ve got a type A personality, but because I’d rather just let the housework/routine stuff go and fly by the seat of my pants. But rest…ah, rest makes all the difference! Thanks for your post!
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You are not alone and Kudos to you for figuring it out so soon…mine are 5 & 6 and I’m dreaming and dreading this coming school year when they are both in school. I work full time as well (from home but it’s still 40 hours a week) plus keeping up with the kids/home and all the other things I LOVE/WANT to do….I am constantly exhausted.
Bravo, young mom! Rest is the key–at your stage and at every stage! Bless you for sharing your story and inspiring other struggling moms.
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so needed this. Our life has changed so much in the last 2 years. In a matter of 36 hours we received a 1 and 3 year boys who came with lots of issues. I would not change it for anything. I am not pregnant with number 7 which is high risk. between the kids and myself we have no less than6-8 appointments a week. that does not include homeschooling and normal life and house. I am often told that I am super mom. NO, I just know this is where life has us right now and I can either chose to lose my mind or roll with it.
Wow….
The Lord is your strength!
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No you’re definitely not the only one but I’m happy to hear you’ve found a good rhythm! Since having my 2nd boy a year and a half ago I’ve felt pretty overwhelmed with everything too. It just seems there’s not any time to do any one thing well. So your advice to just concentrate on one thing at a time is valuable. Thanks!! -Abbey
You are so not alone! I’m in a funk or rut or whatever you wanna call it. I hate to say it but I miss the structure of the school year! Our summer is so fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants that its hard for me to keep things manageable around here. But we’re plucking along. Hoping to get a into new routine soon! Thanks for sharing!
When my daughter was about 2 she stopped sleeping through the night and therefore so did I. I work a full time job and spend many hours a week as part of the music ministry at our church. I was a mess, I couldn’t concentrate, became incredibly forgetful, and cranky. I didn’t like who I was, neither did my husband, and I was about ready to go to the Dr. and see if he could figure out what was wrong with me. One Sunday morning I sat down with a friend and was discussing it with her, she has 3 children, she told me yes that happens when you have kids and that I wasn’t losing my mind it was all because I was not getting enough uninterrupted sleep. Thankfully my daughter ended that phase shortly after that conversation and my “craziness” subsided.
Great post! I am right there with you learning this whole motherhood routine for the first time. My bany boy is 3mos and I too thrive on a clean & organized home & have had to let some things go to find rest ok.
Thank you for sharing!
Oh Myra, I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old and Type A personality. I relate SO much to this! I was trying to get up early to “get things done” before the boys woke up, which did make the day go smoother, but since we’re not sleeping through the night I have decided to just sleep when possible. I know God is working through this time to really show me what it’s like to give up control and rely on Him. Glad you’re enjoying your boys – I do too, and it is the most wonderful thing when you can surrender.
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No you are not alone! I have two daughters ages 1 and 2. Many days I wondered what actually happened that day, because I was just going through the motions. I came to realize that prioritizing is most important, having a great schedule, and having as much fun as possible. Initially I was trying to do it all in one day! But I had to realize that that was not a valid way of thinking. Plus, I wanted to enjoy my kids and not be so busy with life’s daily challenges. All in all I’ve learned to keep a great routine, but most importantly enjoy my sweet baby girls.
Thanks for sharing!
This post took me back to my time of juggling house work, my infant twin girls and 17 month old son. You are SO right- rest is key! Being on the floor with those precious babies, napping together, playing, reading, videos…I had a white board in our playroom that I would write scripture on or some verse in a song to help me keep focus. I learned so much about the importance of not relying on my strength but praying (crying out some days!) for the Lord’s strength! I use to question Him when my twins were crying for hours and my barely 18 month old needed me *at the same time of course*- I would cry out “Lord! I thought you do not give us more than we can handle?! I can’t do this!” And He reminded me that I was right- *I* can not do this and it IS more than I can handle….He taught me to call out for His strength to get through the day. There is something beautiful about the crazy, draining, emotional times in early mother hood- it forced me to be desperate. Desperate for Christ. Fully aware that my day will not go well without Him. Needing Him every minute of the day.
Now, my babies are all in school. I look back on those early days and smile (and cry cause its over!). Then I find myself repenting because I want to rely on Him like that still. We should. Desperation is a beautiful thing. My advice for those in that early stage still- take advantage and JOY in being desperate for His strength and ask Him to reveal things to you. He has a lot to show you right now about who you are in Christ.
Hugs- just love this post, it brought me back a little to some sweet memories Myra! 🙂
Colleen
Thanks for the reminder to rest. I just had my fourth baby and am frustrated I can’t complete my to do lists. I’m also exhausted. I need to remember to slow down and enjoy this time. I like your husband’s advise to start with one small thing each day to accomplish. I just love your positive posts.
I don’t think I’ve ever commented on your blog before, but it is one of my very favorites. You have no idea how timely this was for me to read. I have 4 kids; the youngest two are 2 and 6 months. #4 has turned my world upside down, and I’ve been in full-on “survival mode” since he was born. He does not sleep well (and, well, neither does my 2 year old!) and I have been averaging 4-5 hours of (interrupted) sleep per night for half a year now. Like you, I haven’t been able to bring myself to nap because there are so many other things that need to be done! But now, I’m cranky. I’m gaining weight (no diet change though). I am becoming so absent minded and forgetful. Lack of rest both physically and spiritually has taken its toll on me and I just don’t think this is what God wants for me. I am just now learning that I need to let go of my housekeeping ocd tendencies and just enjoy my kids and this crazy time as much as I can. On the particularly rough days, I will stop what I’m doing and sing “The Joy of The Lord is My Strength” with the kids to keep me from losing my mind. Ha. Anyway, I am writing this as I nurse the babe to sleep and you have encouraged me to take that much needed nap in lieu of mopping the floors. 🙂
I’m a Type A that’s had to let go too. My youngest (the 3rd) is 3 now, and I feel like I’m mostly out of survival mode. We still have our days, though 🙂
For many years I just kept telling myself that my kids wouldn’t remember if the house was completely clean and organized or not, but they would remember if I was a cranky, stressed out momma who should have taken a nap. After her third child, a friend of mine’s to do list got whittled down to this: “1. Prevent starvation 2. Prevent electrocution 3. Prevent fistfights.” Yes, indeed!
This was exactly what I needed today. Thank you so much for your honesty and uplifting message. Finding your posts in my inbox is always a special little treat for this tired Mama!
As I started reading this, I kept asking myself if you were really talking about my life! I haven’t found my mojo yet, but I feel EXACTLY how you described yours before you found your mojo. Glad to see there is hope for me yet! Thanks for the post!!
I am a mom who has struggled with finding my motherhood mojo, but I think I have found it! I loved reading your blog this morning. I am a mom of a 14 1/2 year old and an almost 16 year old boy (18 mos apart). I’m not a new mom, but your post brought back so many memories of those first years. I had to go back to work after being home for a little over four years, worked as a teacher for many years, and am now entering the SAHM world again. This summer, I have found that I LOVE folding my children’s clothes (they have done their own laundry for many years, but now I can help them), making their favorite foods, taxi driving them all over the place, and really being in the moment with them. I also enjoy more time with my husband and more opportunities to do things for him. It brings me joy to serve my family. I still work on a few household things a day (Flylady.com helped me with that), get my work done, and am able to really be “in the moment” with my family and the things I want to do (like read or take a quick catnap). Many blessings to you and I look forward to reading more of your blog.
You, my dear, are NOT alone. With two boys, 6 weeks and 3-1/2 years old, I am smack in the middle of exactly what you described. Giving myself permission to nap, and to forget all those “emergencies,” is my survival mode. Lucky to get family fed, dishes and laundry done, and one other small thing each day, and I mean small, like clean ONE toilet. Sticking to the essentials right now. Finally feeling like my c-section recovery is almost complete, I’m starting to see a glimmer of hope in the future for finding my motherhood mojo again, but it seems a loooooooong way off in the distance yet. But I do love motherhood and being at home with my children. Having worked with my first, and quitting my job when he was 2-1/2, this go-round I am HAPPY to be at home with my two boys, despite the utter exhaustion. Baby #2 has GERD just like the first did, so sleep is limited for us all. But I do have faith that we’ll get back to some semblance of normal. Rome was not built in a day. I cannot expect myself to build a “perfect” family in a day either. One day, one moment, one step at a time. Makes the phrase “living in the moment” have an entirely new meaning to me, but I LOVE it. LOVE it.
I’m so glad you found yours! Sweet miss Piper is 13 months and I still can’t say I have found mine. I often feel completely overwhelmed and feel like I get nothing done ever really. My house work doesn’t really get done and I can’t find a good pattern. Phew. I also have so many projects on my mind that I wish to get done, but it is so so so hard. Every day I hope to pull it together. But, can’t say it has happened yet.