Do you ever fear seeing people that you haven’t seen in a very long time? Do you worry what they might think of you?
Do you naturally judge people for the way that they look? You know you do. It’s human nature.
Here’s the deal.
I’m thirty pounds heavier than I was two years ago. Even four years ago.
That’s the catch.
I’m insecure, fearful and afraid of being judged for what I look like.
People who’ve known me for years, will see those thirty pounds.
I’m afraid that they won’t…
…see that I’ve lost forty pounds in a year and a half.
…instantly think about me birthing a child.
…think about how much better I look today.
…realize how hard I work out and run.
…see that my hormones and thyroid are bonkers.
They won’t immediately notice that my spirit has matured.
They might not see my momma’s heart full of love.
They might not think that these flabby arms have rocked, held, loved and nurtured.
They might think that I have no self control or motivation.
They might think that I don’t care.
They will remember the skinny me.
The me that may never exist again.
The me I long to see again.
The me that I know. The me that I’m comfortable with.
In dealing with this very real fear, I’m forced to realize that what God sees in me is most important. I’m His daughter…a princess. He sees my kinder, softer, less critical heart. He sees my desire to be fit for Him, myself and my husband. He knows. He knows the deepest, darkest caverns of my heart.
A place where no one else can go. A place where it’s just me and the One who never disappoints.
It is there I find comfort while dealing with the reality of fear.
“For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” I Samuel 16:7
Do you ever fear others’ judgment of your outward appearance?