Confession Time…

This has been quite an insane week for me. Lots of crazy things happened, but of course, I can only remember a few! So it’s therapy time. I’m hoping that you’ll get a laugh and I’ll get some relief from the embarrassments that I’ve been carrying around!

For some strange reason, ahem…maybe because Prince Charming did not forget to take the garbage out to the curb two weeks, or was it three weeks (?) in a row, our garage did not become a fruit fly factory. Seriously, ya’ll, you just had to see it to believe it! Since the garage was not infested with these fiends, every time the garage door was opened they certainly did not proceed to overtake my kitchen. It was not the nastiest thing ever, especially when one fruit fly fell into Ridley’s breakfast. It was not gross at all and I certainly did not gag!

After a couple days of fighting the flies, Prince Charming did not say, “We need one of those fly strip things.” I did not reach into a drawer and pull one out (just like magic!). We keep fly strips on hand just like toothpaste. Not!

So after a few days of hanging in my kitchen, (did I just say that out loud?), the fly strip certainly did not contain meellllllioooonnnns of fruit flies. This would NEVER, ever happen at my house! Nope, not me!

On Saturday while Ridley and I had playtime, he did not pull up on a chair and then proceed to slide his face down it as he “fell.” (He really didn’t fall, really.) As I picked him up, I did not observe blood coming from his mouth. We headed to the bathroom where I got his washcloth wet with cold water. He loved sucking on the washcloth and it wasn’t very long until the bleeding stopped. (The little flap between his upper lip and gum got knicked as best as I can tell, but you know how that goes with a wriggly 9 month old).

As he sucked on the washcloth, I did not notice that it smelled quite sour. I did not let him continue to use it because I’m always very concerned about what others might think. So, we headed off to my parents for supper. As my always-sensitive-to-smells sister who is also pregnant held Ridley, she did not start smelling her hands trying to figure out where in the world the sour smell was coming from. I was not only slightly embarrassed because I obviously didn’t think that anyone else would notice the sourness. At least she did not gag! I would never be so careless as to let my son go out of the house smelling like a sour dishcloth. Nope, not me!

And last, but not least…

As we headed home from my parents’ home last night after church, our cat that has been “missing” for almost two years did not run psychotically out in front of the car as we drove down the highway. I did not squeal with delight that she was not dead! I did not stop in the middle of the road in shock that I just saw her “tail-less” rear. (Note: We called this cat Expensive Ellie because she got torn up by some creature that attacked her and we –in our early married life ignorance — spent over 1,000.00 on getting her broken, torn tail removed, but that’s a story all in itself!)

I did not turn the car around thinking that we could maybe find her…even though it was pitch black. I would never do anything so insane. I did not pull in someone’s driveway, just to shine the headlights around. I then did not pull off on the side of the highway because I was just sure that I could see her in someone’s yard. Prince Charming did not get out of the car and start calling “here-kitty-kitty”. I did not excitedly jump out of the car too because Ellie always came to me and she always ran from Prince Charming. I asked him if it was her because she was sitting so still. As he walked over to what we thought was our psychotic cat, Prince Charming did not turn around and say, “It’s a tree stump!” This is completely a made up story because we would never do such crazy things! Nope, not us!

I doubt that MckMama will be doing Not Me Monday’s because Stellan is still in PICU, so won’t you just pray for that sweet baby today?

Have a Happy Monday!!