Confession Overload!

I missed a couple weeks of “therapy”, so I have more confessions than usual to make this week! Ha!

• I did not put my Little Man to bed for his nap with a sweet potato mustache. I’m a way better mother than that. I keep my child perfectly cleaned at all times. No, not me!
• I was not thrift store shopping when all of a sudden, my merchandise had “water” droplets on it. I did not bend over to get a closer look (thinking that the water must have come from a leak in the roof) only to find out that there were “droplets” hanging from the bottom of the car seat. Prince Charming was definitely not the one who changed Ridley’s diaper and didn’t attach it properly. He is way more on top of things that that! Oh, and I totally did not forget to pack a clean outfit for Ridley. So, I most certainly did not just let him “dry out.” Nope, not me!
• In order to help get my Aunt here for my parents’ 30th anniversary celebration on Friday night, I did not call a total stranger (elderly too) at 9 PM to get a phone number for his daughter. He certainly did not gruffly ask, “What do you want?” I definitely did not throw out my maiden name to hopefully get somewhere in the conversation…it worked! Ha!
• I did not glare at the totally immature “children” who stared non-stop at me as I discreetly nursed Ridley in Arby’s yesterday. Do they not realize that this is a perfectly natural thing to do!?! Such foolishness, I would never defend myself with glares!! Nope, not me!
• My mother-in-law and I did not cackle with laughter when we saw someone break the law by turning left where one is only supposed to turn right. All the building materials in the back of his pickup truck certainly did not go sailing out into the middle of the intersection stopping cars in both directions. We definitely did not mention that we wished that there was a cop around to see the mayhem. Nope, we’re way too full of grace for that!
• When faced with two situations of massive SUV unintelligent parking syndrome…that’s MSUVUPS…in the same week, I did not have this strong desire to “accidentally” scrape the back of the SUV that was so over the line in my parking spot! I would never ever think such a horrible thing! Not me!

• Our kitchen has not been taken over with fire ants and I certainly have not tried cornmeal, Windex and Fantastic hoping to kill them off. It didn’t work, of course! I just had a huge mess of stinky, doughy nastiness to deal with. I would never, ever do something so dumb! Nope, not me!

Ahhh….I feel so much better now! Happy Monday!!

For more Not Me Mondays/Not My Child Mondays, visit My Charming Kids.