Finding Satisfaction in Imperfection

Imperfection? Hmmm. This is one of the most difficult lessons that I have had to learn lately. Even though it’s really hard, this one ranks as one of the best, most useful lessons that I can carry through life and practice until the day I die.

I have always been a perfectionist. I mean seriously, ALWAYS. I also mean seriously, a perfectionist!!! I think my immature perfectionism was more often than not quite abrasive, overbearing, demanding, my-way-or-the-highway etc….you get the jist, right? I have some not-so-fond memories of being in highschool, college and even working for 3 years in the furniture industry with SUCH a perfectionist attitude. In the last few months I have realized that not only did I hold myself to super high standards, but I also held other people to the same standards. These other people included family members, my husband, church folks, the youth (bad mistake!), co-workers and clients. When I or someone else didn’t attain to the standards that I set in my own mind, it stressed me out and made me feel like I had to fix the problem.

This attitude pervaded my home as well. I hated to let anyone in the house unless all the dishes were done, laundry folded and put away and on and on. I didn’t want people (especially my mother-in-law! ha!) to assume anything about ME by the way that my house appeared. Now that’s pride for you, huh?! When we bought our home, I only wanted the nicest furniture because that is what I was used to. I also had the mentality that every meal had to be perfect too. Looking back, I see that I had such horrible tunnel vision. I was so often stressed, miserable and wayyyyy off base! Lest you think that I’m some sort of wretched brat, let me tell you about the work of grace that God has done in my life.

Before Ridley was born I began sensing the Holy Spirit tugging on my heart to seek Him over this selfish, prideful blemish (okay, sin!) in my life. I knew that something needed to change. Little did I know that becoming a mother was God’s marvelous way of bringing grace and repentance to this area of my life.

As I read my Bible one morning, I began to read Proverbs 17. (*note: I read a Proverb corresponding to the day of the month.) As I read the very first verse, I was floored! There, staring back at me from the page, was the answer that I had been praying for. My very own God-inspired homemaking motto…

“Better is a dry morsel with quietness, than a house full of feasting with strife.”

Meditating on this verse has changed my mentality, my standards for myself and others, and my ridiculous perfectionism.

I am realizing more and more each day, that the most important part of being a wife and mother is to have this “quietness.” Inner peace, outer peace, familial peace, spiritual peace. The small, insignificant things that don’t really matter are just that. They. don’t. matter. The Lord is teaching me what does matter. First and foremost it is my relationship with Him. If this relationship is discombobulated (made that up!) then all my other relationships and duties will be a complete disaster. My relationship with Prince Charming and Little Man come next and then all other relationships, responsiblities and demands come under that. My biggest priority is the happiness and quietness of myself and these other two amazing people.

So, if you drop by sometime and there are piles of laundry and undone dishes, I hope you will feel quite at home and comfortable as you realize that I’m a very real imperfect human being, who is longing for quietness, happiness and joy. I would rather have these gifts from God more than any perfectly kept house or yard or “always-caught-up” laundry or dishes. Mommyhood has taught me to go with the flow and to “be okay” with whatever happens. I firmly believe that there is a balance to everything and this verse could be taken to two completely different extremes. Obviously, I don’t want to be a lazy bum and not care for my home. Neither do I want to be so obsessed with perfection, that I miss the blessings that God sends my way each day.

This is pretty much where I am right now: I’m finding contentment, happiness and joy in my own imperfections. But I’m rejoicing in the perfection of God and that He has clothed me in His own glorious perfection.

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I’m so wonderfully excited to be the featured blogger on Lynnette Kraft’s Getting to Know You Friday today!!!!! If you’re visiting from Getting To Know You, I’m so glad you’re here! Please poke around and let me know you stopped by! I hope you will come back soon…be sure to visit again during the first full week of July for my 100th post giveaway!! It’s gonna be great!

Have a fantabulous weekend, everyone!!

photo by sierraclub.typepad.com