The House Story

I’m telling you the entire story today because we finally sold our house that we just moved from to the casa.  I want to be transparent and show you the genuine struggle that we had for what was right for our family.

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From the beginning…

When my childhood-sweetheart husband and I got married in 2006 we rented a little 800 square foot house. It was little, cozy and really special to have our first home together. After two years, we found another rental home much closer to family and church.  This house was the casa and you can see how it looked back then.

When our one year contract was close to being up, we started looking for a home to purchase.  We looked at old houses that needed updating, new houses, land in the boondocks…so many different options.  We finally decided on a brand new house in a brand new subdivision.  We got a good price for what we bought.  It was exciting to own our first home!

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Then, five months later everything changed.

The economy crashed…the exact same weekend that I “retired” from my job to be a stay-at-home-mom.  We began losing thousands of dollars in income each month from my husband’s job. It was horrifying.  And we were expecting our first child in just three months.

To pay the bills {specifically the mortgage}, my husband took on a second job that caused him to be out of town or working 6-7 days a week. 🙁 He kept that schedule for over a year until his primary job began to pick up again.  I’m pretty sure that that year was the hardest on our marriage.

Our mortgage continued to rise due to property taxes and insurance premiums {we had a fixed mortgage} and my husband continued to work 60 hours a week. In April 2010 we decided enough was enough, so we put our house on the market. There were a few lookers {less than five showings} in the first few months.  The market is awful!

During the primary election in June, I saw our former landlady at the polls.  She mentioned how much she wished that we still lived in her rental house.  I told her that she had no idea how much we wished that we did as well.  Little did we know that the current tenants would unexpectedly move out two weeks later leaving the house completely free for us.

In July, my husband and I made a very difficult decision. We stopped paying our mortgage because the money just wasn’t there. We depleted our savings trying to make it work. This was the most humbling decision ever. We made the decision for our family.  We decided that it would be better to live in a cardboard box or a dirt hut and be happy and together, than to have a gorgeous house and be apart and barely able to pay the mortgage.

After being unsatisfied with our realtor, we switched to much better realtor who worked incredibly hard marketing and showing our home.  We got an unofficial offer on our house which we accepted, but then the couple backed out because their car wouldn’t fit in the garage.  Sigh.

In October, we signed a rent-to-own contract with our former landlady. It is a dreamy deal.  The price is set.  We’re paying rent plus some which is still hundreds of dollars less than our mortgage payment was.  And we are saving for a down payment when we get the remaining balance financed in three years.  See, I told ya, dreamy! 🙂

During the holidays, showings picked up a little and finally a young couple came along and fell in love with our house. {insert happy squeals}

Because we did a short sale there was much more paperwork to take care of.  It was stressful as we waited on our mortgage company to get all the details worked out.  Finally we settled on a closing date and we moved out and back to the casa in one day.

Then the mortgage company had a bajillion issues and our negotiator went out of town and blah, blah, blah, so closing was postponed.

FINALLY…

On February 10, we sold the house and handed over the keys to buyers who paid cash.  Ahem. {they are younger than us…and apparently wiser}

Part of me was sad that day, but the other part of me was and is so incredibly happy to be out from under the incredible financial stress that we’ve been under for the last three years.

So, that’s the scoop on how we got to where we are today. We’ve learned some really, really hard and humbling lessons along the way.

{Edited to add: This was an agonizing journey with countless prayers and tears.  I’m not saying that anyone should just walk away from their debt and responsibilities.  We didn’t just walk away.  We sought the help of a realtor to sell our home and we sought help from our mortgage company and were able to sell our home and avoid foreclosure, thank the Lord! We don’t recommend walking this road to anyone.}

60 Comments

  1. Myra, I admire your honesty and transparency – it must have been a real struggle at times! My mother’s wise advice “this too shall pass” …

  2. You made a tough decision in order to ultimately make the right decision. You also have a lesson here that many young and starry-eyed homebuyers need to learn. My hubby and I had a tough time getting out from under a too-big, too-expensive house and eventually sold it for less than we’d hoped. Lesson learned? Nope. It happened to us a second time! Now we’re in a small, cozy villa home (detached) in a great location with affordable payments that we can actually afford to decorate and furnish! The stress is off and we are finding that we have more quality time for each other!

  3. Myra, thanks so much for sharing your story, you are very brave and I admire your honesty. I’m so glad that you got your “casa” back and am so enjoying following along as you make it fit your style!

  4. Myra —

    Hearing your story makes me love you even more. You are an amazing woman and it was so wonderful to meet you in real life. I adore you. I am so excited about your new home and I am so excited to follow you along your journey of remaking it!

    xoxoxoxoox
    Jen

  5. Myra,
    Some of the best lessons come through difficult situations. God is growing you both and giving you a testimony to share with other young couples. I am so glad you were able to go back to the casa. 🙂
    We could afford a much bigger home if I were to go back to work, but it isn’t worth the time I would miss staying home with Eli. Like I said in my tweet…”I’m broker than a joke and I couldn’t be happier!”
    (That’s going to be a post, btw!)
    Love you!!!

  6. I love that you shared your story. I hope your family finds peace and happiness. Have you heard of Dave Ramsey? If not… Google him. Follow his plan and if you won’t worry about money again 🙂

  7. What an amazing story Myra. Thank you so much for sharing it and for your transparency. Can’t wait to watch your journey with this home.

  8. That was sooo what I needed to read. Tonight, we had yet another discouraging family discussion about how incredibly sad houses are appraising for right now & how we’d be lucky to get what we owe for the house–much less than what we bought it for. We can’t afford to be landlords for an old house that may need lots of fixing in the years to come. So, we backwards in this house, but are having baby #2 in April. We have a 2 bedroom house and this baby is a different sex than the first. All the bedrooms & closets are SUPER tiny. One tiny bathroom. It’s tight in here. I have worked as a professional organizer, but even I struggle to figure out where to put everything. I don’t want to live in a feeling of chaos though. I want keep giving it over to the LORD and be thankful to have a house at all & just use this space the best I can. It could be worse–for sure. All that to say, your story was encouraging to me & I appreciate you sharing it. God bless your efforts to put your family first before a house & the things that go with it. : )

  9. I love this, Myra! I can totally relate right now. So many things are going on right now. My dad told my husband and I not to get in over our head when we purchased our first home. I love following both of your blogs. It makes me smile each day. You seem so content with your little family.:)

  10. My Husband and I went through a very similar situation. I admire your transparency and willingness to share what you have learned. I still find our situation too pain full to rehash at this point, but it is nice to know that we are not the only ones. Blessings on you journey <3 Paula

  11. You learned a valuable lesson at a young age, (YOU were much wiser than us, and we are older) took us years to learn that lesson. It’s good to get your story out there for others to learn from. May the Lord bless you and Ernie with a lot of time together, and ALOT more laughs……:D

  12. Thank you so much for sharing your story. My hubby and I almost lost our house 2 years ago due to job loss and finances that were way over our head. Through His grace everthing worked out. Thanks- Melissa

  13. I appreciate your honesty. I wish we’d have done the same thing when we went through our struggles. Instead, we are deeply in debt and just a paycheck or two away from total financial destruction, haha. Yes, I laugh because that’s all I can do. We are still able to pay and are surviving…but I wish we’d known then what we know now. I’d have defaulted instead of borrowing to try and make ends meet.

    I look forward to seeing your enjoy your “new” Casa.

  14. Wow! I admire your story and your honesty. I am currently expecting and want more than ever to be a stay at home mom. Unfortunately, I make more than my husband. It makes me sad to think of sending my baby off to a sitter while I work, but I also don’t want to struggle financially. I really admire the decision you made.

  15. Ahh, loved this post Myra. We’ve all done things like that. And the property taxes–wow. They need to teach kids about that in high school. I hate them!

    So happy for y’all and the new house. I bet it will be much cozier for you. 🙂 Miss you!!!

  16. Thank you for sharing your story. My guess is that you have helped more people than you realize. Your honesty is so refreshing and I applaud you and your husband for putting your family first.

  17. Bless you for taking the time (and having the humility!) to share your story! Praise God that He provided a way out for you. I admire your dedication to your child by being a stay at home mom, and by your hubby working incredible hours and being on the road. I am so excited for you guys to be in a place that is not so stressful to afford. Thanks for the beautiful blogs- I am sooo inspired by both of your blogs!

  18. Thank you for being so genuine. Economy crashed while we were preggo too, and we lost a ton of money after I left my job to be a SAHM and my hubby’s work started cutting hours. But it all works out for the best. Dave Ramsey saved our lives, haha! God bless you guys that’s awesome how it all worked out!

  19. Myra, our husbands work at the same place, so I know exactly the finacial struggle you went through. I too was pregnant when the economy crashed. So thankful for the amazing insurance my husband carries, because if it was not for that, we would not have been able to pay for the hospital bill.

  20. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story Myra!!
    people look at me and my hubby odd when they find out we rent, we’ve never owned a home actually….but I can’t tell you what a relief that has been during this economy.

    I’m so happy how it all worked out for you guys!!

  21. Wow. What a story. What impresses me the most is that you and your husband have gotten through such a tough time together. It sounds cliche to say, but you’ll look back at this time and realize how much it brought you two together. And the casa will be a place to have a “home”, just just a “house”. Thanks for being so transparent! I’m sure that many can relate to your story.

  22. I’m sorry, but I do not find this to be the wonderfully “transparent,” “honest,” and “amazing” story that everyone else does. I don’t get the same warm, fuzzy feelings when I read about your lack of financial responsibility. In fact, it sickens me that we have become a culture that applauds mediocrity and failure. That is precisely why we are all in this economic mess. Oh, how wonderful that you stopped paying your mortgage and were able to get out from under your obligations by giving away your house through a short sale. What about the rest of us who are financially responsible — those of us who actually sat down, worked out a budget, figured out what we could afford (yes, you do have to figure in those continually-rising property taxes & insurance premiums into that monthly payment), added in PLENTY of wiggle room and monthly savings for retirement and college for our children, added in some more wiggle room, saved for a substantial down payment, and then bought a house that was well within our means? I live in a neighborhood full of young, dumb couples who got in over their heads exactly as you did. They had stars in their eyes as they bought a behemoth of house for two people full of gleaming wood floors and granite countertops. What recent college graduate needs or can afford this? Not to mention the house full of furniture, the two expensive cars in the driveway, and the giant boat that appears on weekends. The fancy house and all the trappings are something you work towards — it is not a God-given right to a 25-year-old. The result? My neighborhood has been one of the hardest hit in the real estate crisis. We did not buy our house at the height of the real estate boom for an overinflated price. We paid a reasonable price for it 11 years ago. Now — because of the foreclosures & short sales my neighborhood has seen, our house is worth nothing. Fortunately, we are in a better situation than most: we are not upside-down in our mortgage because we had such a substantial down payment. If we had to sell the house today, we would break even, but the $110K that we put into the house would be lost. We would have nothing to put towards a down payment on a new house. We would have to tap our savings and start over. All of our hard-earned money that went into this house is gone.

    It is beyond discouraging that person after person after person can walk away from his or her commitments with no real consequences. Those of us who have been responsible end up paying the price.

    No — life isn’t fair — that’s something I teach my kids everyday. Nor is life about money — our priorities should always be God first, then family, and the other things (such as a beautifully-decorated house) come way on down the line. If everyone had their priorities straight AND used common sense when it comes to money, Dave Ramsey wouldn’t have a job.

    I don’t mean to sound angry. I’m sure there are those who will comment that I am a horrible person for not being overly-sympathetic to your plight. I am glad that you are taking away something good from this experience; there are a lot of others who will never learn the value of true financial responsibility. However, don’t fall into the trap of believing that it was just a humbling experience for your family alone. I’m sure your former neighbors in the brand new subdivision were quite humbled, as well.

    1. Angela, my heart hurts because of your comment. However, I’m thankful that you took the time to share your thoughts and your experience. I’m sorry that the economy has affected you and your family as well. I hope that you could see from my post that we do wish we would have considered some of the things mentioned in your comment. I also wish we could have been psychic and seen that the economy was going to crash and burn! Ha.

      We did our best {after a lot of prayer and counsel} to seek a short sale. It was a *very* difficult decision. We are trying by the grace of God to make wise financial decisions.

    2. Wow Angela- I sincerely you never make a mistake that you have to pay the consequences for and have some stranger come along and slap you with a big “I told you so”. I cannot believe that you believed your comments to be helpful or appropriate.

      I sincerely pray that you never come upon financial hardship. Apparently you think that you are immune to it because of how smart you are with your money. I sincerely hope that is true. But in the meantime, please keep your mean spirited comments to yourself. Myra and her husband are God honoring people who do not deserve your criticism. They are humbly doing there best to honor God and learn from their mistakes. Thankfully they serve a God of abundant grace. And thankfully most of her readers have offered her the same.

    3. Well stated, Angela! The point you made about “people walking away from their commitments with no real consequences” is so true…

      I must I add that my husband and I were fresh out of college when we purchased our home in 2004. We bought a home we could afford. No, it was not new, even though we looked at new homes during our search (with sparkles in our eyes). The model name of one of those new homes was called: “The Spruce”. I loved it, but we knew that we could not afford it…because we factored in senerios like, “what if one of us was to lose our job?”

      In the honor of that dream home, we found a beautiful house that we could afford…that had a Spruce Tree planted in the front yard 🙂 that is now our home.

      The economy does not crash in one weekend…it is a consequence of people making poor decisions and those decisions are a burden on everyone, not just the loving couple that is thinking of their family. We are all affected by people that are deciding not to pay their mortgage…

      1. Karen, thank you for your 2cents. I admire that you and your husband made a wise decision. Your implication that we didn’t factor in that one of us might lose our job is just not true. We did factor that in…we planned for me to be a SAHM. We didn’t factor in that my husband’s pay would be cut by 2/3. Most people couldn’t pay their mortgage if their pay was cut by that much. Maybe they could pay the mortgage, but they might be eating at a soup kitchen. Anyway, yes the industry that my husband works in did indeed crash in one weekend and it still hasn’t recovered. Also, I will reiterate to you that we didn’t just decide to stop paying the mortgage. We cut every single other expense and still didn’t have money to pay.

        Kindness and grace is appreciated.

  23. Wowzers, Myra.

    I am thankful a path was made by God for you all to get back into the Casa.

    What are you and Ernie doing now, to avoid future financial stresses? Because as you have experienced, emergencies do come up and the economy is never guaranteed.

    We suggest Crown financial and Dave Ramsey to everyone we know! Young and old can benefit from learning biblical principles about handling God’s money.

    You are loved!

    p.s. There was no love in the comment anonymous Angela left–ignore it. She said many things that were true, but the kind of ranting she did is exactly what gives Christians a bad name.

    1. Thank you Tracey. YOU are much appreciated! We are on a budget, saving money, paying off debt etc. We’ve been to Dave Ramsey classes and are implementing the envelope system. Thank you for your support and your love. xo

  24. Many people in this country are learning difficult lessons right now. We all make mistakes and it is great that you learned from it and wonderful that it all turned out so well for you. I think many of us are seeing that relationships matter much more than material items. Congratulations on the new home and the sale of the old one;) Happy new beginning!

  25. I am sorry about all that happened to you, but I hope that you will plan for the unexpected next time. I am 24year old and I make enough income as a Chemical Engineer but I don’t go around buying a house because everyone else is. Come to learn that my husband lost his job too last year, and thus we are now living on my income which is still more than enough to buy a home, but instead we are renting a house…that way, we can walk away (at the end of our lease) if the unexpected happens. We dont plan on buying a house until we are 30. And we are not investing in heavy pieces of furniture either, just the bare minimum for us and family. I wish you all the best. The casa has a lot of potential, I wish you had seen that.

    1. You are very wise! You have no idea how much we wish we had stayed at the casa too! 🙂 Thanks for your comment!

  26. Angela, I see where you are coming from. You have been burned by short sales in your own neighborhood. But I don’t think anyone here is applauding failure. They are applauding that Myra and her husband learned their lesson and were brave enough to share it. So many young couples are in the same situation. It is unfortunate, but by sharing her story, perhaps someone out there will think twice about buying a house they can’t afford.
    I have made my share of financial mistakes and frequently share them on my blog as well. It not only keeps me accountable, but it encourages others to know that there others struggling in the same areas.

  27. I’m glad in the end you were able to get your house sold (and it didn’t have to sit for years as a foreclosure, like a couple homes in my neighborhood) and that you can now breath again financially.

    We all make mistakes that we wish we could go back and erase (including Angela I’m sure). Eventually we have to make peace with it and forgive ourselves, just as God does, and move on and learn from the lesson. That is just part of life. 🙂

    I have been in a position where the weight of financial pressure consumes you and begins to erode your life! It is definitely humbling to make choices you never thought you’d have to make.

    When I was buying my little 950 square foot house that I paid $58K for, my coworkers (who mostly live in huge homes in posh neighborhoods) couldn’t wrap their heads around why anyone would choose to live ‘like that’. After being in a financial mess that eventually helped in ending my marriage…I knew I would never return to that kind of pressure again!

    So, I might live in a tiny home (which I LOVE and is honestly the perfect size for us) and it might not be in the best neighborhood in Indianapolis….but I can enjoy my life and I don’t have the pressure that my coworkers in the massive homes do either. 🙂

    I wish you all the best now that you are relieved of a past mistake and hope for a bright future! 🙂

  28. Thank you so much for sharing your story, and your candor.
    I’m in a similar situation. My hubs & I lost our home (rental) in
    Sept. He’s been unemployed 2 years. We both take side jobs as they come along until my online work picks up 😉 I’m staying w/my mother; he’s staying with his – 2 different towns. Not a great situation.

    Now, my mom’s 3 yr old house (in senior community) was too expensive since she didn’t sell her ‘old’ house. We tried a short sale, but the lender didn’t accept. So we’re hanging in ’til the bitter end, meanwhile, getting the ‘old’ house ready to move back into.

    I’m trying to make the best of it, but it’s not easy. Not being with Hubs is hard, but I’m sure there’s a Greater purpose that we don’t know yet.

    So, in the meantime, I’ll be fixing up Mom’s old house – and looking upon it as a wonderful blogging opportunity. Why not? It was built in the 1920’s and needs a ton of work. I mainly paint, but it’ll still provide loads of blog-worthy material!

    Thanks again, for your story. You’re not alone, as I’m sure you know. But it still helps to read other stories, and to know everything truly can work out.

  29. Myra,
    I hope to be able to say one day soon we are DONE AND FINITO with our house too. The economy crash + not the smartest loan in the world has left us with a problem house. We had it on the market for 9 months, had 30+ showings, and one pitiful offer (which of course we now kind of wish we had taken). We lived apart for 4 months trying to wait for it to sell. While Libbie was 10-14 months! We have had a renter for about a year – at 1/2 to 2/3 of what our mortgage is. On one teacher’s salary.

    We are starting the short-sell process now and I dread it and yet will be so relieved to just be done with it all.

    Thanks for your transparency. 🙂 We can’t help what decisions we made in the past, just be wiser for the future!

  30. Oh, Myra, thanks for sharing your story. I know that there are a lot of folks out there who can relate to your situation. I think Angela was a little hard on you & what you have gone thru. No one plans on failing & making financial mistakes. T hose are lessons that have to be learned with time and wisdom. None of us are every guaranteed that we won’t face something similar, no matter how hard we plan for the future.

    I find myself in the middle of a situation that I didn’t want or have a lot to do with, nonetheless it is what I’m stuck with due to decisions made by someone else in my life. We sometimes have to suck it up & make the best of what we are dealt even if it’s not fair. Not a place I thought I’d ever be, but I must get through it and dig my way out. And dig I will!

    I’m proud for you both that you are recovering in this house & you will be much better off for it. Our country may never recover from this real estate crisis that we are currently in or it may take a long long time.

  31. You know, we all make the best decisions we can at the time in our life that we make them. I can totally relate as my husband and I foreclosed (I know-gasp!) on our house. We had an involuntary move across the country, literally from Virginia to California, which left us no other options. We rented out our home for half of our mortgage payment, which was all the market would bare, and drained our savings trying desperately to do the right thing and not be irresponsible by walking away. We worked with our mortgage lender weekly (honestly), but they wouldn’t help us since it wasn’t our primary residence. We tried 3 short sells, but the buyers always walked because the mortgage company took too long with an answer. I don’t say all this to get sympathy, but just to say that things happen-shit happens! Things that you may not have control over. You have to do the best you can for your family and who cares what anyone else has to say about it. You are certainly not alone in your financial woes. And honestly-how refreshing to read that I am not alone either! 🙂 Thanks for sharing Myra.

  32. Thanks for sharing your story. How my husband and I wish that we hadn’t listened to the “sage” advice everyone gave us in 2007 (just before the market started to sour) that buying a house was an absolute must, pretty much the second we could afford it. We were told it was one of the best investments we could possibly make.

    Yeah right!

    I don’t blame anyone but ourselves, though…we made our choice. Now we are renting out our home for about 2/3 of what the mortgage is (we moved across the state) and are feeling immensely thankful that we got even that. It was on the market for 4 1/2 months and only got 5 showings…and that house was CUTE! We are able to keep all the bills paid as long as we have renters, but what will we do if they leave after the lease is up? I shudder to think…

  33. Myra, thank you for sharing your story. My husband and I have gone round and round about our own house situation just this week, and it can be so discouraging. (Long story short: We bought a small house 7.5 years ago that was not nearly as nice as we [and our inspector] thought. The house, the neighborhood and the value have deteriorated greatly while our payment has increased due to taxes and insurance. But because of foolish choices we are slowly making up for now, we can’t sell it yet. Ugh.) Anyway, all that to say, your story is so encouraging, and I appreciate you sharing it.

    Also, I truly appreciate your compassionate and humble spirit as you’ve had this conversation with your readers. Thank you for setting – and maintaining – a kind tone in your space here.

  34. Myra,
    Thanks for sharing the journey that lead you to your casa. DH and I bought our house in 2002 as friends left and right were buying new homes in fab neighborhoods and it felt odd and wrong that we bought below our means and had the house that no one wanted to gather in since it was so small. This was to be our 3-5 year house but we found Dave Ramsey in 2006 and decided to clean up the mess we had made with credit cards and student loans with the hope that we would be able to upgrade once we were out of those dark, scary woods. In the mean time, things changed, DH and I haven’t lost as much income as your family did but times are tighter. We recently talked to a realtor just to find out that we would break even if we sold, so we are staying put. I’m looking forward to reading about making your old house beautiful as we work to remodel our little house to better fit our needs for the next few years. It’s easier to make a brand new beautiful house lovely and I’m looking forward to posts from you that show how to love an older home and make it lovely, too.

  35. My husband and I nearly bought a house right before the crash! Things didn’t work out and we both said to each other that it just wasn’t meant to be. Now we know why! I’m sorry you’re family had to go through such trying times, but I’m glad you were able to come out of it safer, happier and wiser. 🙂

  36. Myra-

    I’m been thinking about this post for a while now. And although Angela may have some real points, I do not think that they apply to you. You and your family got into a sutiation that coudl not have been forseen, and you did what you had to do to make it work for you. I am so apprecaite that you were so open and honest to share with us your story.
    My husband and I ended up buying our 1st home just last year, as I was on the cusp of 40- our agent was breathing down our necks to buy a big, new fancy home and we decided (much to her dismay) to buy a sweet, simple ranch with amazing views, and most importantly, worked for our family. Like you, I am a SAHM, and my kids are much older than yours- 12 and 9- we all have to do what we have to do to make things work for our family. From what you wrote you didn’t “walk away” you tried your best, and it didn’t work. Guess what? That’s called a mistake, and mistakes are ways of learning how to change. Seems like you and your fabulous family have learned, and are doing so very well on your new path. Blessings to you .

  37. Oh Myra! I am so sorry! You are so so brave for sharing this with us! I know what you went through hun 🙁 We went through ALMOST the same thing 🙁 It’s so stressful! We too were newly married with a baby on the way! I’m so happy you made the decision that is best for your family! Blessings to you dear!!!

    xoxo

  38. Wow— I can’t belive how mean some of these comments are! Myra, I just want to let you know, I too was in a similar situation and for 5 years rented back a home I had previously sold. I was pining to buy again for those 5 years. I purchased my current home a year ago, and in some ways wish I was still renting! It’s hard being responsible for everything that breaks, and it is also hard to watch the property values declining. I wish I had just realized then that home is wherever your family is. Rented, owned, it doesn’t really matter. You did what was right for your situation at the time. Don’t be in a rush to buy again!

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