Friday Fails – Coffee Is The Bane of My Existence

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I’m in the doghouse now!  {ducks and runs for cover}

Disclaimer: This post is written with my tongue firmly planted in the side of my cheek.

Coffee has been the bane of my existence for the last four years … since I got married. Ahem.

When I said, “I do” to the man of my dreams, I didn’t realize that I was marrying the coffee bean as well. Ha!

I must be a weirdo. Umkay, I am. But I can happily live my life without coffee. {Gasp!} Miraculously, I survived four years of college without it! I love the smell, but I’m not crazy about the taste.

My husband’s coffee adventures…or tragedies/fails are quite memorable. I’m finally coming to grips with the coffee thing. I don’t see it going away any time soon. And I’m okay with that because I love my husband – coffee and all.

Clarification:  This is no cheap, ordinary coffee.  No sirree.  My wonderful man is a total Starbucks snob.  His taste buds require Starbucks French Roast (whole bean preferred) with International Delight French Vanilla creamer.

  • Coffee has made us late in getting out the door…more times than I can remember.  #Fail
  • It “busted” the budget for so long that now coffee and creamer are in their own category.
  • Ernie has had to leave church to go change clothes because of spilled coffee. #Fail
  • Not long after we were married, he spilled flaming hot coffee all over my brand new white linen skirt.  That was so not a good day.  #Fail
  • Fun Fact: My hubs can drink a Grande’ coffee and go right to sleep.  I, on the other hand, will be wide awake for HOURS after drinking a frappuccino.  Ask me how I know.
  • Last night, his coffee spilled all over the church pew.  It was hilarious.  You just had to be there to watch him clean it up…during the service!

You probably think I’m exaggerating, but maybe this will prove my point….

Ridley, at 17 months old, says, “Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot” every time we drive by Starbucks.

Corrupted. Completely corrupted. 🙂

Am I crazy?  Or should I seek counselling for my husband and his coffee addiction?

{Removing tongue from cheek}

Are you a coffee lover?

Now it’s your turn – Tell me a fail that will make me laugh in agreement (or pity)!
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Do you have a “fail” to share? Link ’em up here! If you don’t have a blog, just leave a comment. Please follow the rules! I can’t wait to read your fails! Try to spread the love and comment on the other “fails” posts!

24 Comments

  1. Like Ernie, I too can have loads of coffee and sleep at night, sometimes I feel it’s because I’m old.
    I MUST have Sprouts coffee with some kind of flavored creamer. My tastes change often, so I usually have 2-3 flavored creamers and/or a pint of half and half. Also, just for the record, I prefer the creamer to the coffee. Ha.
    .-= Jasmine´s last blog ..Recipes Im dieing to try or tried and LOVED =-.

  2. LOL!! I’m a total coffee lover! I have 3 coffee systems and 2 back up coffee makers in my home. (okay the backups are in the garage) Here’s a picture on my coffee post http://wp.me/pOQtz-1g

    I prefer Dunkin’ Donuts coffee at home to Starbucks at home, but I can relate to the coffee snobbery. I don’t always buy DD, but I prefer it…
    .-= JamieAnne´s last blog ..Banana and Chocolate…I’m sold- =-.

  3. I’m a coffee lover, so I actually kind of agree with your husband except for the Starbucks part. I understand that an addiction to that particular brand can be pricey, plus it grows hair on your chest and burns a whole in your stomach. LOL!

    Your hubby needs to try a fresh-roasted coffee and something that’s not over-roasted like Starbucks. They actually burn their coffee beans giving them that dark color, but it takes away from the potential coffee flavors that can be found in a fresh-roasted bean.

    My husband and I started a coffee roasting business. It started as a hobby and is now a small business. There’s nothing like having the fresh roasted beans. It makes for a smoother cup. I’d love to send you and your husband some samples of our coffee to see what he thinks. He will still be addicted to coffee, especially after trying ours, but his eyes will be opened to the full flavors of something other than Starbucks. Plus, you’ll find our prices to be more budget friendly.

  4. My husband has a serious addiction to coffee. We’re in Seattle, so pretty much the whole city is addicted. I can actually get through the majority of days without coffee, save for the few days where I was up much, much too late. And then I have to get at least a triple shot to jolt my body into awake mode. I have a high caffeine tolerance, I can drink any caffeine and go right to sleep too.

    A fun experiment (and slightly mean) is to swap out the regular coffee with decaf and see how long it takes for the man to realize it (if at all). I tried it with my husband, but I couldn’t got an hour without telling him. He hadn’t noticed yet, though he said he did feel a little slower.

  5. So funny! I totally could have written this, as I could relate to each and every thing you shared. I’m not a coffee drinker- except for these light Fraps Starbucks is touting now- but, like you, I married the coffee bean when I married my husband. We’re late to church every single Sunday because we have to wait for just another coffee to brew, and I’m always shocked at how he drinks it pool-side in 100 degree heat on vacations. 🙂

  6. I love the smell of coffee and could use the caffeine sometimes, but I don’t like the taste. Our house is coffee free and I can’t say I’m sad about it! In fact, I learned how to make coffee a few months ago and am still not brave enough to make it without supervision. However, I figured we should use the coffee maker I’ve had since we got married 5 years ago!
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..My Weekend =-.

  7. I am a coffee lover, but I could live without it. Here is a quick story for you.

    My hubby takes a travel mug to work every morning. One morning I forgot to set the timer on our little 4 cup maker. Needless to say, he was not pleased as he left without his coffee. I went turned it on for myself to have a cup. When it was ready in the half dark kitchen I poured it and heard a big plop! I thought, what the heck was that?
    I turned on the light and looked in the cup to find a huge tree roach (we live in TX mind you) in my cup! At some point the bugger crawled in the pot. I called my husband to tell him I got my payback and he was fortunate not to have been the one to get the roach. Because he would have put the lid on his cup and left. Gross!

    Needless to say, my appetite for coffee was non-existent that day.

    ~Lanie
    .-= Lanie´s last blog ..Friday Favorites 7-2-10 =-.

  8. My husband and I both have a serious addiction to coffee! We are all about different flavors, and fresh ground coffee is the best!

  9. I adore coffee with a passion… and I really, truly like COFFEE. I drink it black- no cream, milk, sugar, sweetener, froufy flavored stuff. None of it. It’s not the caffeine either, because I drink decaf. I just LOVE the taste of coffee. 🙂 My hubby? He drinks it, but he doesn’t love it like me. And he drinks the girly creamers in his. 😉
    .-= JessieLeigh´s last blog ..Sleep-Training- NICU-Style =-.

  10. I am not a coffee drinker at all, but my Hubbie loves the stuff. He’s recently cut back on it quite a bit though. Every now and again he just has to have it though. Why is that he can still drink a fully caffeinated beverage and go right to sleep? Ergh…. I can’t even THINK of caffeine and try to sleep. Hehe…
    Take care!!
    Dee

  11. I know a few folks who are addicted to one kind, and one kind only, of coffee! My parents in fact! They are addicted to Alterra Coffee which is a Milwaukee roasting company that is just growing larger each and every month. I moved back near them and out of Milwaukee a few years ago and I wonder what they are going to do when I don’t live there anymore to replenish their stock of coffee beans, ha!
    .-= Shelley´s last blog ..A Berry Good Day =-.

  12. Hi Myra!
    Re. Hubby’s Starbucks “Kauffee” addiction, we will “convert” him when he is up here in Toronto, we have the BEST coffee source, Tim Horton’s, and it’s cheaper than $ta*buck$ …lol!!!
    Ooopsie, coffee spilt in the pews, we don’t allow any food in the sanctuary but we have lots of oopsies downstairs, mainly juice though.
    Now have a good Saturday, are you going lawn saling?
    Blessings
    Linda

  13. Hilarious!!!! I feel the same way you do about coffee….I’ve made it through college and grad school w/0 falling prey! LOL

  14. I don’t have a fail to share this week. Or maybe I do but my brain is blocking the memory. Anywho…
    I love coffee, but it has to be the candy bar in a cup variety. Drip coffee gives me heartburn, but espresso doesn’t (go figure!) That being said, espresso stand or Starbucks coffee is an expensive habit I don’t usually use. I run an espresso cafe in our church’s youth group, so I drink coffee two days a week… Wednesday and Sunday. It’s how they pay me 😉 The rest of the week, I am an avid TEA drinker! Hot or cold, I always have it.
    .-= Dawn@ 5 Kids and a Dog´s last blog ..Homeschool High School Guidance Counseling =-.

  15. So funny…and maybe not so funny memories! We don’t allow such things in the sanctuary either! And I was thinking about the Tim Horton’s no one in Canada can live without! 🙂

  16. I worked at Caribou Coffee for about a year and well you have to drink the “kool-aid” in this case, coffee. I have always loved the smell of the stuff but when you can distinguish the taste of nine or so different roasts and the difference between the caffeinated and decaf version of the same roast/blend… anyway. We have a french press, I am a snob in that way, plus you can use it to make large batches of tea. I totally agree with the hubs can drink it and fall asleep and I’ll be up for days if I drink it. I think it has to do with not having it for three years due to pregnancy and nursing two kids consecutively. It kind of messes with your chemical makeup.

  17. I am a coffe fan too! I drink my coffee black, and the stronger the better.. I love a cup at night – and can very easily fall asleep right after drinking one! Starbuck’s is delightful, but there is a cute little coffee shop in my town that I love – Dolce – it’s my second home 🙂 Love your posts! Meg @ Life Together
    .-= Megan´s last blog ..Land of the Free Home of the Brave- =-.

  18. This post kinda weirded me out. I could copy and paste it and change the names and it could be about MY husband! Down to the DETAILS.

    The “whole bean, Starbucks French Roast, w/ International Delight French Vanilla creamer” (though my hubby has to have “sugar free” creamer) … seriously, EXACTLY the same!

    And he can drink it and fall right to sleep. He once made fun of me soooo bad b/c I had ordered a decaf mocha frap one evening, but they FAILED (was it a Friday, perhaps? Hehe) to make it decaf. Hubby convinced me to drink it, saying it “didn’t have much caffeine” … well, I was up, SHAKING, until 3 a.m. No joke. I was so sick and jittery. Ugh. Major fail.

    Now, the bad news is that he had a terrible back injury about a month ago. The good news is that for some WEIRD reason, it caused him to no longer crave coffee … at all. The meds he had to take did something to where even the smell of coffee made him feel sick, so he stopped making/drinking it. All craving for it ended immediately, and he had NO withdrawal symptoms like he had on other occasions where he would try to stop drinking coffee! 😮 He’ll still grab an occasional drink at a coffee shop, but we stopped having to buy it for home (no more “emergency” runs to the store b/c he “HAS” to have coffee for the morning), and the coffee maker is in the basement! Crazy, no? 🙂

    P.S. I am 30, and have only made coffee ONCE in my life, under close supervision of a co-worker. Ha. That was years ago and if you put a coffee maker in front of me today, I wouldn’t know what to do. I have NO clue how much coffee vs how much water, etc. Could I learn how? Of course! But I have intentionally chosen not to … I don’t drink it and don’t want to have to go around making it! Even for my fabulous hubby! 😉

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